confuse

I don't really know what I want actually...

Sometimes I will emo without any reason

Sometimes I will happy without any reason

i feel myself are so weird,i meant my feelings

a little thing likes today i eat something good,it will make me happy whole day

if i get a bad news from my office,i will emo whole day

especially my man- mr.jansen ngan

 i really proud of him

1st. my temper are so bad and hot,he can endure

2nd. i will scold and get angry faster when i'm not feeling well,he can endure also

3rd. i will argue with him although i know i'm wrong actually,but i still want to win,he also din't say anything

but,the god is fair

no one is 100% perfect

that's why i said i don't know what i want

i hope everything will be fine 

i hope everything smooth 

 my health

my work

my family

i can feel myself about my body

its getting weak and weak

my body really have many problems 

and i don't know what is the problems actually

it makes me suffer like hell everydays!

my work was gave me too much pressure

i wish i could have 2 days off the phone and have a sweet dream at the night till morning

my family.......its complicated

but,YOU did hurt me that time..i'm sorry because i still treat you like shit..but i cant control myself,every time i saw you in the morning,i will get angry,but i know that's not your fault..anyway,i really have some time to forget it....please forgive me..thanks

i hope i can control my temper more..i wish. 

 

 

dark

that's was my world start that day until now

i really cant feel even a littlebeat happiness

i hate myself

closed

what will appear in your mind when you see the picture?

i really facing many many many bad thing recently

first day----- i have been patient whole day,keep thinking positive

2nd day----- start morning i had bad thing too, keep patient keep patient,this word keep on rolling my mind,told me I will facing this problem once day,now the problem just came earlier,take it easy..

but,at the night......i most trusted people was cheat on me

even now also I cant really feel happy

I'm so suffer not because "the people"

is me myself

i hate myself easily believed someone

i won't do that again..its time to "closed" my door...

smile

i should let happiness live with me forever

ya,i must..

i hope my family will happy always too

just forget all the unhappy thing

what ever la..

but i really does not have any happy feel when the CNY was end

I told myself everyday

*smile always*

ya,nowadays a smile is everything

customer like to see your smile,not your sad face

they are not interested in your sad thing

they just interested what they want to buy from you

sometimes i would think my sister is very simple

because she just a accountant 

she just sit inside the office,she did not know the complexity of today's society

every times she will cried when face to something she does'nt know how to settle

i will asked her,:"why you cry?is just a small case wad..

sometimes they will said me so cruel 

but

in this world,i learn a thing

don't treat someone too good

you will get hurt so fast

that is my conclusion

maybe you will think i'm too negative

but it is not me cruel,is the world

*do smile always*

just feeling

*please ignore me*

*ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!*

i want to scream loudly!

enough..

i already feel so tired 

both of you are so childish..

we did not cried,because not only one time u do that to us

we have become insensitive

does not will have any feeling 

you like to get angry faster,go ahead

but please don't use your hot temper to do something to my family

we are human

we are your family too

if you like to let us feel suffer

why do you want to give birth to us?

ask yourself

did i treat u so bad before?

we have all these??

NO!!

but since that day you start crazy,we all change

we don't like go back home

we don't like to heard you always keep on argue with mom

if you want to let us suffer

please do not give birth to us start from the beginning

what we want is CARING

i cant hate you

how can i hate you?

what you did to us,what are you saying suck thing to us,make us sad

you also my dad

married??

ya,don't get shock by my title

of coz i haven get married yet

but I always say"today don't know tomorrow thing"

but i din't mean that i will marry soon la friend

why i title like tat?

because my two lovely grandma was asking me when i want to marry?

when they give me angpau

and said: faster marry and born a child for me

haha

  

and my man's family like tat also

said: 5 years already,still wait wat?

but,they din't know my age only 20,and my man only22

we still young(right?)

but,in this CNY, i can feel WHO I AM already...

really feel so much happiness in this CNY

chinese new year

this year are damn boring in hometown

I always talk to my mother

"our Chinese new year always celebrate on the highway"

ya,you're right

because my bro have to work,so we come back to kl at chor 2 night

of coz first i contact was my man

call him came to fecth me go eat thn go next round

of coz is JUDI 99 la~~~ 

now i have to eat full first

night everyone